"Quarter-life Crisis"
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and
start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't
know and may or may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will
be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are
now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are
some of the most important ones.
What you do not realize is that they are realizing
that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they
are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you
thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that
you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of
socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that
maybe they weren't so great after all.
You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry
with the greatest force of your life; You feel alone and scared and confused;
Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear
life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and
there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't
meet anyone decent enough to get to know better; All this while you had been
convincing yourself that you didn't want to be tied down to any person; Now
suddenly you have moments of self-doubt when you wonder if you waited too long
and let someone special get away. You love someone but maybe love someone else
too, and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad
person! Random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like
an idiot starts to look pathetic;
You want to be independent but suddenly, the idea of
having the stability of a special someone to trust and lean on doesn't seem all
that bad. You want to be your own person and yet be taken care of at the same
time.
You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot
seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and
making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now
you'd just like to be a contender.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times,
trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
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